Every day, the Munchkin Coalition bring their lunches with them. Most days at least one person has Easy Mac. I agree: it’s easy. And sometimes you just need some Mac, regardless of how healthily you eat. But waiting 3 1/2 minutes for one child’s lunch to be ready while I have three more to heat and five kids running amok in the front room playing blocks (read: knocking down each other’s towers and throwing blocks around while the baby wrecks havoc on my bookshelves) is a bit of a pain. When I’m really lucky, two kids will be bring the familiar little blue bucket and it’ll take seven minutes to make half the lunches we need. It seems like no big deal until you realize we are consistently seven minutes late for nap on those days.
Needless to say, I have Easy Mac down to a science. Peel off lid, remove “cheese” packet, fill with water to the fill line, put it on a small plate (I’m tired of cleaning Easy Mac boil-over off my microwave turntable) and microwave for 3 1/2 minutes. Meanwhile, I get all the other lunches laid out and sometimes start putting away the dishes from the dishwasher so I don’t feel like I’m wasting valuable time. I can do the Easy Mac Dance without even thinking about it.
The other day, as I fixed one princess’s Easy Mac, I noticed the “cheese” packet was open at a small section in the middle of the envelope’s edges. I made a mental note not to forget that. As the noodles finished cooking, one of the princes came to ask me a questions. Or he was in the kitchen in time out, I have no real idea which as both are equally common occurances. Either way, I was distracted. I removed the hot little blue bucket from the microwave and picked up the little ‘cheese” packet. I gave it a few good shakes to make sure the powder was away from the tear I was about to make, just like my Mama showed me to do when I was a kid. You read that right: I shook the packet. Please see “Mental Note”, above….
I had only shook (shaken?) the packet about twice when I realized that I was being covered in something, and about two more shakes to figure it out. All that happened in about a second, if that. I had ‘cheese” powder….well, simply, everywhere. In my hair, on my face, in my eyes, all over my clothes, all over the floor. I opened the packet and looked inside, thinking I would discover that Princess A was about to eat some Plain Mac instead. But there was still plenty in there, and her Easy Mac was The Cheesiest. If you had seen the amount of “cheese” powder all over me and the floor, you would think I had just opened that packet and dumped it over my head. I finished fixing lunch and swept the floor. The bottoms of my feet were covered in powder, and it was starting to feel gross.
After about five minutes, I was still dusting this stuff off my face and shirt. I realized it had made its way down my shirt as well, and was lining the underwire of my bra. Nothing like powdered “cheese” in your underwire to really make your day. The urge to go shower immediately was overwhelming, but Munchkin duty called. Princess A’s mom got a big kick out of the story later.
The nastiest part? Even worse than powdered nasty in my bra? Later that night I was lying on the sofa watching TV. My ear itched. Absently I stuck my finger in there and scratched. And discovered, in the cup of my ear….powdered “cheese”. I was in the shower before the next commercial.